In my current circumstance, I feel stagnant. Life is not what I want it to be and is not even what it could be. I have always lived with this mindset that I am the least important person in my life. While this allows me to function in a deep level of understanding, it is not the healthiest thing. I have neglected my future. I have wasted my time. There is so much that could have been done that was not.
Here is the worst part:
I have allowed myself to dwell on things past.
I dream of things that I could have done with my time of unemployment, things I could have done because I was not in school. These thoughts haunt my steps and have brought me to my current emotional duress. I have given into the idea that my life sucks and it always will.
WRONG.
My life does not suck. I just need to break out of my bubble of depression and find the sunshine (cheesy, sure… appropriate, most definitely). Life is a montage of moments strung together. The decisions made in those moments will ultimately define us.
The conclusion that can thus be derived is this:
If you allow your moments to be consumed with defeat and depression, you will be defined as a depressed, defeated soul. If you optimize your moments with enthusiasm for the future (come what may), then you will be defined as someone who lives life to the fullest.
We have all heard, “Live every moment as though it were your last.” It is, regardless of how cliché, true and highly effective. Do something that makes you happy. Forget the depressing circumstances that you may find yourself in, and make your moments bright and optimistic. Do not ponder things that could have been. Ponder what may be.
Walt Disney said this:
“We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.”
Come what may; remember that tomorrow is never guaranteed. Focus on making the most of every moment. Stir things up and live in the moment.
Keep Moving Forward,
C.
I know that I have been absent for a really long time, but I think I finally found the motivation to write regularly. So…stay tuned. :)
As I went about my days hanging around my friends and the same old people, I began to notice a pattern of exclusion. We would stick to our own clique of familiar faces, rather than branching out and finding new faces and personalities to allow into our group. The more I thought about it, the more it bugged me. Negativity spilled out of our mouths, as we unashamedly pointed out the faults of others that dictated our reasoning for excluding them. I happily went along, so glad that I had found a place to bash those I had not even taken the time to get to know. Once I realized the error of my ways, I wanted desperately to change.
So, as I do in any situation of self discovery, I talked it out. I finally arrived here:
This is the essence of the human condition: we are petty and judge the entirety of someone’s character in a moment. Just because it is something we do so naturally does not make it acceptable. I believe that mercy should be given in every moment of every day. If we would give people a chance, we would see the beauty of their souls. Even if they completely disagree with you, the value of their perspective is unmatched and cannot be replicated by anyone. Everyone has a story, be willing to listen.
That last statement has become my manifesto when it comes to people. All of us come from different places in life, with different views, and different experiences. Who is any one person to tear someone else down because of the differences between them? We are all people and we all have our place on this earth. If we replaced negative thoughts with thoughts birthed of a genuine love for others, then I believe that we would begin to see a new breed of people arise in society.
I’ve found that the more I immerse myself in this idea of loving people unconditionally, I am able to smile more and care less about offense or appearance. I look at people for what they are: people.
I challenge you to try this for at least a week and see if you notice any change. I hope you are blessed beyond measure in this exercise.
I have never been good with goodbyes, and I still can’t think of a suave outro, so… Until next time,
C.
As I observe the social tendencies of my circle of friends, I begin to see new people come into the picture. They’re awesome and seem really cool, but it’s as though friends that I’ve had for years now have an overcrowded heart and more often than not, I feel betrayed and somewhat abandoned and left to myself. This probably has a lot to do with my personality and temperament. However, my mind is constantly bombarded by thoughts of and fears of being left out in the cold with no one to trust or look to for companionship. This change, this metamorphosis that my group of friends is undergoing takes a toll on me. I’ve grown so accustomed to certain ways of doing things. With that, comes the apprehension that everything new will bring pain and agony into my world.
Even as all this begins to come to pass, I cannot help but look to someone who never changes or moves. I am compelled even more to look to God for my source of comfort and acceptance. I am so thankful that I can run to Him in times of shifting.
One of the most powerful things is looking to the future, but not my future. I don’t want to look to my future. I want to be able to look ahead to the coming day of the Lord. The greatest moment will be when Christ returns to claim us as His bride. So fantastic. To live a life that oozes the presence of God. I don’t want mediocre Christianity. I don’t want an average relationship with Jesus. I want psalm 27:4. to dwell in God’s house forever and ever; to look upon His beauty and learn at His feet. I want the one desire above all else that I seek to be intimacy with the son. to know Him as a person. To have Holy Spirit living inside me. To know the three different persona of God as individuals, yet as a whole. I want to know the Father’s justice, the son’s yearning for His bride, and Holy Spirit’s knowledge.
I have recently discovered that life is less fulfilling and far more boring when you leave a place you love. God really does make life exhilarating. I find that in myself, I have more confidence, have more peace, and most definitely find the little things more fulfilling. However, the largest thing that I get with God is freedom. When I don’t constantly immerse myself in His presence, or am not consistently meditating on his words, I am bound to so many thoughts. Not necessarily wrongful thoughts, just thoughts that begin to whelm me in such a way that drives me to such despair. I feel the ultimate weight of my future fall on my shoulders. I feel empty and as though I have no one to love, and worse, no one who loves me. I begin to find that my desire for a girlfriend wells up and begins to dominate my mind as well. Not that I am against girlfriends, I myself just don’t want one in particular. Though, the girl I do find quite alluring lives far from here. Add that on top of the desire for something that can’t be fulfilled…and you get a man driven to insanity. He tries to hide it for the sake of himself and his friends, yet is hunted to the far corners of his mind, then tortured by this constant bombarding of emotions intended to break his will…
Then, I get the courage to open my mouth and ask for God’s attention. When He gives it to me, all the thoughts begin to fade and I lose myself in an eternal realm in which it is just me and Him. My whole life begins to find meaning and purpose once again.
As I have recently found a new vigor in pursuing my purpose and destiny in life, I feel it only necessary to completely repurpose my blog for the things of God.
I want to see into a realm that surpasses our own. i want to know the Father deeply and intimately. I want to fall in love with Jesus more and more every day. I want to love my brother the way I love myself. I want to peer into the kingdom of God and gain wisdom an revelation for this life and the one to come.
